After The Silence
by popscb
Summary: A silence can be the most powerful cry for help...but will anyone hear her? one shot based on the 'I have to go' from Stefan in the 7x08 trailer.


After the silence

The early hours of the morning were the hours that she was used to recently, she didn't sleep, not the she didn't want to, purely because she couldn't. She'd lie awake staring at the ceiling, listening to the heartbeats coming from her body and thinking how the heck she had gotten into this situation. The dorm room was cold and quite, and no matter how tight she pulled the sheets around her she couldn't replicate the same warmth that was present when she shared the bed with Stefan. She sighed…Stefan. What a complete mess that was, who though that being in love was easy, because being in love with Stefan was a far cry from that. Staring into the darkness she felt the nauseating sensation in her stomach again, climbing from the bed she barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up, the little contents she had in her stomach. Her head tipped back slightly, moving her hair from her face as she flushed and cleaned her face. Staring at her reflection, she hardly recognised herself, she didn't know who she was anymore…she wasn't Caroline Forbes, she was just someone's baby oven. Returning to the dorm room she knew she wasn't going to sleep, so pulled one of her cardigans on over her pj's and sat at the window by her recently acquired desk. She opened the blind and stared out across the campus.

The darkness was slowly fading, morning creeping in, in a silent protest against the night, the reappearing light making her sigh at the thought of another day. This time of day she found her head was clearest, it gave her time to think and feel at ease with the decisions she was making, or at least trying too. It was usually a comfort just being alone with the darkness and her thoughts, but right now there was a darkness she had never experienced before. Mystic falls was no more, her home wasn't really a home and she was stuck in a situation that she hadn't been given a choice in, not really.

In a split second, she'd made a decision and was throwing on clothes haphazardly. It had been a rather spontaneous decision on her part, which was definitely not in her nature but she needed to get out of the same surroundings. She walked around Campus for a while, feeling the cool of the breeze in her hair, she'd give anything to have Stefan walking with her, his arm around her shoulders, keeping her warm…keeping her safe.

After a while she was walking further away from Whitmore, not quite as far as mystic falls but she could still see the effect the downfall of her town was having on the local area. Shop fronts were spattered with closing down signs some were boarded up. As she continued to walk down the streets she realised that there were only a select few homes with their Christmas decorations up, all of the other's getting swallowed up in the darkness that had fallen across the towns. A little part of her hoped it was going to get better soon, that the Heretics would become less hungry for human blood, she knew she was hoping a little too much.

Coming to a bench she sat down the first sun for days gently rising behind the buildings casting an orange glow for the shadows to fall upon. This place was nothing anymore, it was as though everything and everyone had disappeared and had made a stand to not reappear. Suddenly the world felt small and compact- the smallest of things suddenly seemed to be those with the most meaning. She wondered what was happening behind closed doors, was their lives anything like hers? She guessed that would be a resounding no. Her eyes fell heavy for a few moments, imagining what could have been. Somewhere in one of the houses there probably was a young girl of her age, in her situation. Pregnant, and scared and not having a clue what was going to happen. But she knew that girl would be having her biological child, she probably had a boyfriend of husband holding her hand and telling her everything was going to be ok.

What did she have?

"Strange time to be sat out here in the snow..." a familiar voice sounded next to her and she smiled, she had him. Out of everyone so far, he was the one who had actually thought about her in all of this. Asked how she was feeling, if she wanted to talk about it.

She looked up and saw the few flakes of snow beginning to fall, no wonder it was so cold. "Stranger things have happened" she told him, wiping her eyes.

"You'll freeze out here Care…" he said heading to his patrol car when she didn't respond to him. "There…" he draped a blanket around her shoulders and they say in silence. "You…want to talk about it yet?"

His question was the breaking of her and she began to sob, Matts arm falling around her shoulders. "Valerie was right…I'm pregnant."

She felt him pull her closer and take a deep breath "How? Vampires can't get pregnant…"

Caroline sniffed closing her eyes as she leant against his shoulder "I'm having Jo and Alaric's twins. When she was killed at the wedding the Gemini Coven used a spell to protect the next generation of the coven, which were the twins. The entire coven were dying and they knew it, so the put the babies in someone, where they knew they were safe, where they couldn't die…"

"And that person was you…" he stated, not needing her confirmation. "That's not as crazy as I thought" Matt said with a slight smile.

"It's pretty high on the crazy scale from my perspective, I'm a 17 year old trapped as a vampire who until a few days ago didn't think they could get pregnant, let alone carry twins."

"How you feeling about this?"

"Alaric gets his babies that he thought were dead, and Valerie gets the twisted sense of pride that she's found the way to give that to him."

"I didn't ask about them Care, I asked about you…" he said softly

She shrugged "I've no idea how I feel. Nothings the same anymore, you can't say anything to anyone Matt, promise me you won't?"

"I won't, as long as you promise you'll talk to me if you need to?" she nodded "And you let me take you back home before you catch pneumonia or something"

Caroline rolled her eyes "I'm vampire I can't get ill"

"You have food poisoning the other week no?" he teased her opening the door to the car "Get in…"

They drove back down the streets, Matt looking for any suspicious activity as they went. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against the window of the car blocking out the laughter from those who were tripping their way down the street after a night out in Skull bar, she found that she could breathe easier if her eyes were shut; it was a way to be in control of what she was seeing instead of feeling controlled- blocking out the superficial normality of the world around her. They stopped at a set of traffic lights, and the lack of movement forced her eyes open again, she noticed they were almost back on campus. Her reality would start again. She yawned spontaneously after a long day of classes and what had been a rough few days beforehand, exhaustion was finally catching up with her. The tiredness, physically and emotionally were growing within her. She couldn't deny that this was killing her- no matter how much she was trying to be upbeat and optimistic, pushing through like the happy Caroline she used to be, something was changing within her, it was like her head and heart were battling a decision that had been subconsciously made the second she'd seen the ultrasound screen, she felt as though she was slowly being disconnected from herself as well as the rest of the world.

The car came to a stop and Matt turned off the ignition, he looked across at her "You're strong Caroline, but it's ok to not want this…" he said "Go and get some sleep, you look like you need it."

She would have usually argued with him but her energy was gone "Thank you Matt."

"What for?"

"For listening to me." She said, closing the door and going into her dorm block.

Checking the time he saw it was almost 8:30 in the morning, he opened a blank message and began to type "Caroline needs you."

Stefan sat in the Lockwood lounge, glass of bourbon perched in his hand, his phone in his other.

"Why are you up so early? And why are you staring at your phone like it's an unexploded bomb?" Damon dropped onto the sofa next to Stefan peering over and taking his phone from his hand 'Caroline needs you'" Damon read "Sounds ominous" he raised his eyebrow "From Donovan too…"

"I got at half 8 this morning. I've been trying to call Caroline since and she's not answering." Stefan confessed

"When was the last time you actually saw your supposed girlfriend?"

Stefan frowned "She is my girlfriend Damon. And I don't know, probably a couple of days ago, she's been busy with her assignments…"

Damon sucked in his breath and tutted, shaking his head at his brother, placing his hand on his shoulder "Have you thought that blondie might be feeling a little neglected? You've been so wrapped up in Mommy drama and Valerie history, you've not spoken to her for what? Three days? Let alone seen her…"

"Caroline isn't like that…" Stefan said

"Every girl is like that Stefan. Instead of going to Mom's party as your date where she should have been, she was babysitting your ex… she was at the hospital …"

"What? When? How do you know that?" the panic was immediately running through him.

"The other night, why we were torturing Mommy dearest and I know, because unlike you I haven't still got my head stuck in 1863! And I saw one of Lilly's prodigies, Norma or something…apparently she was with Valerie there…"

"Valerie? Why would they be at the hospital?"

Damon shrugged and took the glass from Stefan's hand "Go and find out. Sounds like you've been a neglectful boyfriend."

"Really Damon? You're going with that?" he shook his head "I'm going to Whitmore to fine Caroline, try and stay out of trouble ok?"

"I'm making no promises. And tell Blondie I said hi" He smirked toasting his glass in Stefan's direction.

Stefan was still walking around Whitmore an hour later, according to the lecturer he'd compelled, Caroline hadn't had any classes the last two days, just study sessions. He picked up his phone dialling her number for the 100 time. "Caroline, please, call me as soon as you get this, I've been calling you all morning, and I'm getting worried about you. Just call me back please…"

Sliding his phone back in to his pocked he noticed Bonnie across the grass "Bonnie" she stopped, smiling at him as he approached.

"Happy Christmas" She greeted him

"Well it would be if I could find Caroline" he sighed "You haven't seen her have you?"

"Oh I thought she was on her way to yours actually, that's where she said she was going"

"When was this?" he asked already moving back to his car

"About an hour ago…you must have just missed her." She said, watching him speed off in his car. "Stefan…Happy Christmas to you too Bonnie."

Stefan pulled into the drive way and sped into the house. He knew she was there as soon as he was through the door, he could smell her perfect sent. The comforting smell that was only Caroline. He called out for her but didn't receive an answer, so continued walking through the corridors of the mansion. He eventually saw her sat in on one of the benches at the back of the house, he could see she had been crying and that broke his heart. A crying Caroline had always been the breaking of him, even as friends it was one of the only times he'd instigate a hug.

He stood watching her in silence, seeing how she played with her fingers, the slight smile fading on and off her face. He hoped he would be able to provide her with some comfort to what she was feeling, hoped he could be there for her and make things better for her, because that's all he wanted to do, I just wanted to make her life better, make her happy. He realised in that moment, that he hadn't been there for her…he hadn't been truthful with her.

She looked to her right and saw him standing against the doorframe. "Hi…" he said quietly, to speak any louder didn't feel right.

"Hi…"

He moved and sat next to her, the two of them going to speak at the same time. They both laughed slightly "You first…" he said

"I don't really know where to start." She said "I sent Damon out for Christmas dinner food." She told him with a short chuckle, almost a sarcastic one. "It seemed wrong for him to be here…"

Stefan nodded "I know. I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately, I've just been dealing with some family issues." He said and she nodded in understanding like she always did. That was just another thing to add to the list of things he loved about her. And he did, love her, he hadn't told her yet but he did and he hoped she knew.

"Yeah, one of your family issues had been creating a few issues for me" She said begging to fidget and get nervous again, she could feel the sickness rising in her throat and willed her body not to give her away just yet.

"What's wrong?"

She held her finger up to him and took a breath "I don't know how to say this and it's been building up for the last few days and its crazy and mad and…"

"Caroline…" he stopped her babbling only to be stunned by her next words.

"I'm pregnant" she blurted out, a nervous smile on her face as she exhaled and stared at him. He was silent, silent Stefan was not a good Stefan. "You can say something…"

He shook his head "Is it mine?" were the first words from his mouth, even though he knew that it wasn't possible.

She was crying now, oh how she wished they were his. "No" she confessed sadly "I'm pregnant with Jo and Alaric's twins." She went onto explain the situation and how it had all happened. The two of them sat side by side on the bench looking at the stone wall in front of them, not able to look at each other. "Can you say something now…anything…"

"I have to go…" he said after a period of intense silence

"What?" her head snapped towards his, her heartbeat increasing as she was sure he was about to flee.

"I have to go…and compel whoever it takes to let me come and stay with you permanently at Whitmore." He took her hand tightly in his. "I'm sorry for not being there for you…"

"You're here now that's all that matters. I'm sorry this is happening…" She looked at him "I know it must be hard for you, knowing I'm pregnant when you've just found out that you lost out on the opportunity to be a dad." She saw Stefan swallow and she knew he was going to apologise "Its ok, Valerie told me. I could see how much it was hurting her, so I can imagine how you must be feeling too…"

"None of that matters now. All that matters is you, how are you feeling? You didn't ask for any of this…"

She shook her head "No I didn't, but these babies didn't ask to be killed in the first place, Valerie didn't ask to lose your child…a lot of life isn't asked for, but I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. This has happened so quickly and I honestly never thought this day would ever happen, that I'd get to experience a pregnancy…"

"But you can…"

She shook her head taking his hand and placing it on her stomach, she knew he'd hear their heartbeats if he listened hard enough "we can…They might be Alaric and Jo's children once they're born, but until then…they're mine- ours."

"We'll get through this. Together Caroline. All of us." He moved forward kissing her lips softly, smiling as his hand curved over her stomach, she knew she was going to be ok. She'd get through the silence.

 **:D this was a little angsty but I loved writing this! hope you enjoyed reading it just as much xxx**


End file.
